Common Errors in English Usage (5)

ANYMORE\ANY MORE:
In the first place, the traditional (though now uncommon) spelling is as two words: “any more” as in “We do not sell bananas any more.” In the second place, it should not be used at the beginning of a sentence as a synonym for “nowadays.” In certain dialects of English it is common to utter phrases like “anymore you have to grow your own if you want really ripe tomatoes,” but this is guaranteed to jolt listeners who aren’t used to it. Even if they can’t quite figure out what’s wrong, they’ll feel that your speech is vaguely clunky and awkward. “Any more” always needs to be used as part of an expression of negation except in questions like “Do you have any more bananas?” Now you won’t make that mistake any more, will you?

ANYTIME\ANY TIME:
Though it is often compressed into a single word by analogy with “anywhere” and similar words, “any time” is traditionally a two-word phrase.

ANYWAYS\ANYWAY:
“Anyways” at the beginning of a sentence usually indicates that the speaker has resumed a narrative thread: “Anyways, I told Matilda that guy was a lazy bum before she ever married him.” It also occurs at the end of phrases and sentences, meaning “in any case“: “He wasn’t all that good-looking anyways.” A slightly less rustic quality can be imparted to these sentences by substituting the more formal anyway. Neither expression is a good idea in formal written English. The two-word phrase “any way” has many legitimate uses, however: “Is there any way to prevent the impending disaster?”

ANY WHERE\ANYWHERE:
“Anywhere,” like “somewhere” and “nowhere,” is always one word.

ANYWHERES\ANYWHERE:
“Anywheres” is a dialectical variation on the standard English word “anywhere.”

APART/A PART:
Paradoxically, the one-word form implies separation while the two-word form implies union. Feuding roommates decide to live apart. Their time together may be a part of their life they will remember with some bitterness.

APIECE/A PIECE:
When you mean “each” the expression is “apiece”: these pizzas are really cheap—only ten dollars apiece.” But when “piece” actually refers to a piece of something, the required two-word expression is “a piece ”: “This pizza is really expensive—they sell it by the slice for ten dollars a piece.”
Despite misspellings in popular music, the expression is not “down the road apiece”; it’s “down the road a piece.”

APOSTROPHES:
First let’s all join in a hearty curse of the grammarians who inserted the wretched apostrophe into possessives in the first place. It was all a mistake. Our ancestors used to write “Johns hat” meaning “the hat of John” without the slightest ambiguity. However, some time in the Renaissance certain scholars decided that the simple “s” of possession must have been formed out of a contraction of the more “proper” “John his hat.” Since in English we mark contractions with an apostrophe, they did so, and we were stuck with the stupid “John’s hat.” Their error can be a handy reminder though: if you’re not sure whether a noun ending in “s” should be followed by an apostrophe, ask yourself whether you could plausibly substitute “his” or “her” for the S.
The exception to this pattern involves personal pronouns indicating possession like “his,” “hers,” and “its.” For more on this point, see “its/it’s.”
Get this straight once and for all: when the S is added to a word simply to make it a plural, no apostrophe is used (except in expressions where letters or numerals are treated like words, like “mind your P’s and Q’s” and “learn your ABC’s”).
Apostrophes are also used to indicate omitted letters in real contractions: “do not” becomes “don’t.”
Why can’t we all agree to do away with the wretched apostrophe? Because its two uses—contraction and possession—have people so thoroughly confused that they are always putting in apostrophes where they don’t belong, in simple plurals (“cucumber’s for sale”) and family names when they are referred to collectively (“the Smith’s” ).
The practice of putting improper apostrophes in family names on signs in front yards is an endless source of confusion. “The Brown’s” is just plain wrong. (If you wanted to suggest “the residence of the Browns” you would have to write “Browns’,” with the apostrophe after the S, which is there to indicate a plural number, not as an indication of possession.) If you simply want to indicate that a family named Brown lives here, the sign out front should read simply “The Browns.” When a name ends in an S you need to add an ES to make it plural: “the Adamses.”
No apostrophes for simple plural names or names ending in S OK? I get irritated when people address me as “Mr. Brian’s.” What about when plural names are used to indicate possession? “The Browns’ cat” is standard (the second S is “understood”), though some prefer “the Browns’s cat.” The pattern is the same with names ending in S: “the Adamses’ cat” or—theoretically—“the Adamses’s cat,” though that would be mighty awkward.
Apostrophes are also misplaced in common plural nouns on signs: “Restrooms are for customer’s use only.” Who is this privileged customer to deserve a private bathroom? The sign should read “for customers’ use.”
For ordinary nouns, the pattern for adding an apostrophe to express possession is straightforward. For singular nouns, add an apostrophe plus an S: “the duck’s bill.” If the singular noun happens to end in one S or even two, you still just add an apostrophe and an S: “the boss’s desk.”
For plural nouns which end in S, however, add only the apostrophe: “the ducks’ bills.” But if a plural noun does not end in S, then you follow the same pattern as for singular nouns by adding an apostrophe and an S: “the children’s menu.”
It is not uncommon to see the “S” wrongly apostrophized even in verbs, as in the mistaken “He complain’s a lot.”

APPAULED\APPALLED:
Those of us named Paul are appalled at the misspelling of this word. No U, two L’s please. And it’s certainly not “uphauled”!

APPRAISE/APPRISE:
When you estimate the value of something, you appraise it. When you inform people of a situation, you apprise them of it.

APROPOS/APPROPRIATE:
“Apropos,” (anglicized from the French phrase “à propos” ) means relevant, connected with what has gone before; it should not be used as an all-purpose substitute for “appropriate.” It would be inappropriate, for example, to say “Your tuxedo was perfectly apropos for the opera gala.” Even though it’s not pronounced, be careful not to omit the final “S” in spelling “apropos.”

AROUND\ABOUT:
Lots of people think it’s just nifty to say things like “We’re having ongoing discussions around the proposed merger.” This strikes some of us as irritating jargon. We feel it should be “discussions about” rather than “around.”

ARTHURITIS\ARTHRITIS:
If there were such a word as “arthuritis” it might mean the overwhelming desire to pull swords out of stones; but that ache in your joints is caused by “arthritis.”